windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
