I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
not ubering you a puppy
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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