Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
