just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
