While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
