This is not my ceiling
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
