sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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