worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
