I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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