If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
