thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
