i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
