youre lurking in front of me
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
