Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
