It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
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I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
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Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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