Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
