why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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