I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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