In the future we'll all be gay
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
