I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
