oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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