Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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