i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
