girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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