CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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