So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
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How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
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Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize