i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
