btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize