you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize