I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
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Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
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I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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