then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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