i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
vagina is talking i cant
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
