I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The air was thick with penises
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
