You made me cry and you don't even care
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
