You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
