Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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