weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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