How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
