All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
