i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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