hotel room ftw
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body