i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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