The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm too high and old for this...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize