Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
