Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Randomize
