Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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