I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize