seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
