quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize