I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
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Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
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I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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