Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
