No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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