you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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