if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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