How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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