i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
